temptation, trials, divorce, marriage,

When Trials Arise, Which Type Are You?

Trials and Temptations. Not the most joyful subject, I know. However, they're  stumbling blocks in which we cannot dodge, jump over or run away. Like me, I'm sure you've desperately prayed for God to remove the temptation, the trial, the cause of your emotional pain you've had to face, head on, regardless of how you appeared on the outside. It's only afterwards, by the grace of God, when we come through on the other side, that we discover it we'd never felt so very closes to our heavenly father. 

Last Sunday, my pastor's message hit a little too close to home. He boldly asked everyone to assess themselves in how they respond when trials and temptations arise. Can you say "uncomfortable?" I wasn't expecting such a bold question at 10:15 in the morning! He went on to describe various response traits, asking us to consider with which we most relate. As one who tends to throw herself under the bus, I can identify with several, my friend.  If you feel none apply to you, well, I fear you are in a bit of denial. So, how do you respond when a trial or temptation arises in your neck of the woods? 

1. Avoider: One who refuses to accept any responsibility and does whatever necessary to keep from facing the reality of the situation. This person's attitude leads to emotional distress brought on my having no choice but to eventually deal with the situation.

2. Fixer: One who's always trying to figure it all out, doing whatever necessary to restore peace to their part of the universe. A fixer ends up being completely worn out emotionally, as they rather fix other's problems that come to grips with their own.

3. Worrier: As a result of living in constant fear, a worrier often lacks joy or is unable to express happiness with their own life or with others. Rather than face the trial or temptation before them, they often think the worst, assuming they can't possibly overcome it, so they give in. 

4. Grinder: these people just work, work, work and feel duty bound that such a work ethic will fix any issues.  Grinders are avoiders on steroids. 

5. Blamer: these people refuse to accept responsibility or that they could be part of the problem. They always feel as if they're the victim. These people tend to have very few close friends, as they rarely trust anyone with their true feelings. As a result, they face trials alone.

6. Martyr: the sufferer who is always sad and wants pity. Martyrs are actually avoiders disguised as blamers. They refuse to accept their own role in the problem, thinking that pity will camouflage the whole thing.

7. Rebel: the black dressed person with a point to prove. They have the attitude, "you be you, I'll be me and I'll show you." Rather than look at the trial as a teachable moment, they rebel in the farthest way possible, forgetting the person in which they hurt the most is themselves. 

So, dear reader, can you relate to any of these? As I said, this writer fits in more than one category. What this should tell all of us is that we have some work to do. After hearing this message at church, I came home and gave this some serious thought, not to mention discussed it with my cowboy. I wanted to hear his opinion, for his perspective was important. Did that mean I liked what he had to say? Eh, not really, but I knew he was being honest. I highly encourage you talk to your partner or best friend about this topic and then--LISTEN. 

Regardless of how I respond, I am determined to find joy in the teachable moments God puts before me. If we turn our tests into testimonies, just imagine the healing that can take place in our families and communities. Are you in? The first step is taking a good look in the mirror. Let's do it together.  Thanks for reading and thanks for sharing with others. It's the only way to get on the road towards healing!

Brightest of Blessings, 


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